How To Annoy God: A Guide by Gabriel, Balthazar & Lucifer
by Nr1NickiferTrash
Summary: Where Gabriel gets bored and decides to start a band with Balthazar & Lucifer. Takes place before Lucifer's corruption and fall. One shot


"I'm bored," Gabriel said out of nowhere. "Let's start a band."

Balthazar stared at the Archangel. "A band? Where did that idea come from?" He asked in curiosity.

Gabriel gave him a look. "Because it sounds like fun," he replied with a 'duh' tone.

"A two-man band? Don't you think we are a few members short?" Balthazar asked bewildered, already looking around and trying to spot some angels who might join them. "Maybe Castiel will want to join us?"

"No!" Gabriel immediately dismissed the idea. "Cassie won't understand," he tried to reason with Balthazar, "he's too tense and the poor thing will just be confused."

"Then who?" Balthazar asked again. Gabriel stared at him. "It was your idea," the younger angel added with a shrug of his shoulders.

Gabriel frowned, looking around at all the angels that walked past the two of them in an orderly fashion. _Who would want to join our band?_ He wondered. _Who is fun enough?_

He immediately dismissed Raphael. He never even liked Raphael that much in the first place.

Michael, on the other hand, sings just as well as a dying cloud on steroids and you did not want him even close to any kind of instrument either. The same counts for Ezekiel and Bartholomew.

Zachariah? No, just no.

Naomi? Gabriel suppressed a shudder of the idea alone.

"How about Lucifer?" Balthazar asked out of the blue, his eyes glued to the white ceiling above their heads.

"Lucifer?" Gabriel repeated, thinking it over. Gabriel knew that Lucifer couldn't play any instruments, but he wasn't all that bad at singing if he had to be honest. And he was popular with the other angels as well. "I guess we can ask him."

Just when Gabriel had said that, Lucifer appeared around the corner, followed by Michael. They appeared to be bickering about something. The lesser angels quickly moved out of the Archangels way.

Before Balthazar could stop him, Gabriel cupped his hand around his mouth and screamed very loudly, "LUCIFER!"

Balthazar rubbed his ears, a scowl on his face. "Did you _need_ to scream _that_ loudly?" He complained. "Especially that close to my poor ears."

Gabriel ignored Balthazar and focused his complete attention on Lucifer, who was coming their way now. Followed by Michael. The latter was probably just curious to see what was going on.

"What do you want, little brother?" Lucifer asked monotone. Michael addressed them all blankly.

"Hey Luci," Gabriel grinned, swinging his legs back and forth from the wall he and Balthazar were seated on, "wanna join my band?"

"A band?" Lucifer repeated, rustling his bright, sparkling pink wings in curiosity.

"You know," Balthazar added, "making music and all. Fun stuff."

Lucifer shot the youngest angel a glare. "I know what a band is," he snorted, "there has just never been a band before in Heaven. Like ever."

Gabriel grinned mischievously. "Time to change that. You in?"

Lucifer grinned back. "I'm in."

Balthazar wondered where he had gotten himself into and Michael walked away, shaking his head as he went, not feeling like getting involved with the trio.

"Let's practice!" Gabriel cheered, jumping down from the wall and walking away. Balthazar and Lucifer following him.

 _At the meantime_

"Yes, Father," Raphael said with a slight bow of his head.

"You're dismissed," the Lord commanded the Archangel, turning the latter his back. Without looking back, he knew that the angel flew out of the room, followed by the familiar _whooshing_ sound of angel wings.

Letting a sigh escape past his lips, God slumped his shoulders and allowed himself a moment of silence. _No noisy angels this time,_ he told himself.

Sadly, the Lord's private-time did not last long. For the grand white-golden door to his private room slammed open and Michael strode into the room. Rather loudly, if he had to say.

"Father," the Archangel said stiffly. "I have returned from my mission."

Glancing over his shoulders, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Isn't Lucifer supposed to be with you? I recall sending you on a mission together." He questioned. "Michael, where is your brother? Did you ditch him in the ocean again?"

"Lucifer went somewhere with Gabriel and Balthazar," the Archangel replied, seeming confused about something. "Father, what is a band?"

"What?" God did not expect that kind of question. Especially from Michael.

"A band. Gabriel asked Lucifer if he wanted to join his band," Michael scrunched up his face in utter confusion. "I don't understand."

"Do you watch the humans sometimes?" Chuck asked, instead of directly answering his question.

"I was never ordered to," Michael replied stiffly.

"Then you should start doing so," the Lord said. Michael nodded like the obedient soldier he is.

"Humans have something called music, a symphony of sound," God tried to explain to the angel. But then again, how exactly did you describe music? You had to listen to it, _feel_ it, and only then you would understand.

In God's opinion, music was one of humanities best creations. That, and nacho cheese. How he loved nacho cheese.

Michael knew what music was. He loved doing it, but everyone - especially Gabriel - told him he 'sucked big time'.

"To put it simply; a band is a group where numerous people get together to play music in tune with each other."

"Why would Gabriel, Balthazar, and Lucifer want to start a band?" Michael asked next, frowning slightly.

"Gabriel was bored," Chuck replied as if that explained _everything_ , which it did.

"Of course he was." Michael thought about it for a while. "Is it okay to let them continue this band? They might abandon their duties. They _are_ the troublesome trio, after all."

"Let them be," Chuck waved it off, "they will get bored again, eventually. And perhaps," he grinned, "an angel band might not be such a bad idea." _If they were any good, of course._

Right when he had said that, the sky roared in a thunderstorm. God and Archangel alike looked up, seeing the sky turn black and soon illuminated by numerous lightning strikes.

"Father, did you," Michael started puzzled, "just start a thunderstorm?"

Chuck looked puzzled as well. "That wasn't my doing." In fact, he did not remember giving _any_ of the angels permission to play with the lightning generator, either.

Then he knew what - or _who_ \- was the cause. Gabriel, Lucifer, and Balthazar. Heaven's official troublemaking trio.

He could vaguely make out the sound of drums as well. There even was a guitar and Lucifer singing. They weren't _that_ bad and if it wasn't for the thunderstorm, God would let them be.

"Do you want me to stop them?" Michael offered.

Closing his eyes and sighing, Chuck replied, "No, I'll take care of it. Please check on the fledglings," he thought of the baby angels. The poor things must be terrified. "Take Castiel with you, if you can find him."

Michael bowed once before he disappeared in a flutter of angel wings.

Snapping his fingers once, the trio appeared before him. Balthazar and Lucifer looked around in bewilderment, Gabriel had yet to notice a thing.

The Trickster Archangel was jumping around the room, playing his electric guitar. Chuck rolled his eyes. "GABRIEL!"

An inhuman _screech_ left Gabriel's mouth, and in shock, the guitar flew out of his hands, right into God's surprised face where it shattered into a thousand pieces.

They all looked at each other wide eyes before Lucifer started laughing. Gabriel looked sadly at the guitar's remains. "Your face destroyed my guitar..." he grumbled.

Balthazar's eyes had widened to the size of soup bowls and he stared at the father he saw for the first time in his life.

"Stop making so much noise," God told his three troublemaking sons.

"No," Lucifer replied. "It's too much fun."

Chuck looked at Gabriel for help, who just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fuck off, dad. We do whatever we want. And _your face_ destroyed my guitar!" A flutter of angel wings was heard and the three of them had left.

The thunderstorm and music picked up once more. Gabriel had probably created a new guitar.

God could sense Castiel close to the angel band, holding a triangle of his own. Castiel had asked them if he could join them and the trio agreed.

Castiel officially joined the angel band. With his triangle.


End file.
